I received this email today. I certainly agree with the sentiment that Conservative American and Socialist American ideologies are, and always will be, incompatible! Some of the minor terms of the agreement may need to be amended somewhat, but the major ones I'm pretty much in agreement on. Yeah, I'm pretty much ready for a divorce...
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll let you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.
P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
Stand With God, Stand For Liberty, Prepare To Fight For Both!
A GOP congressman from Alabama has given fresh fuel to a growing debate within the Republican Party over its failure to take control of the Senate amid last week's enormous GOP wave on Election Day. Nine-term Rep. Spencer Bachus, in line to head the House Financial Services Committee, has laid blame for that setback at the feet of Sarah Palin.
As first reported by the Shelby County Reporter's Jan Griffey, Bachus told members of a chamber of commerce in his district that Palin's tea party choices sank GOP chances in the Senate.
"The Senate would be Republican today except for states [in which Palin endorsed candidates] like Christine O'Donnell in Delaware," Bachus told the South Shelby Chamber of Commerce. "Sarah Palin cost us control of the Senate."
According to Bachus, that means Republicans aren't really in charge in Washington. "You can wipe that thought from your mind," he said. "Democrats are in control of the presidency and the Senate. It would take 67 votes to override any veto."
That's not to say Bachus, who is considered a staunch conservative, is anti-tea party.
He told the chamber while tea party candidates did well in House races, the movement's picks in the Senate "didn't do well at all."
Palin aide Rebecca Mansour responded to Bachus via Twitter Monday night, suggesting the blame should not fall on Palin, but rather on the candidates who lost. Mansour did not mention O'Donnell, whom Palin endorsed in this summer's GOP primary, but she cited three losing candidates whom Palin did not endorse: Dino Rossi in Washington, Ken Buck in Colorado and Linda McMahon in Connecticut. She also listed three whom Palin did support—Carly Fiorina in California, John Raese in West Virginia and Sharron Angle in Nevada—though she added that Palin did not endorse Angle in the GOP primary.
"Sarah Palin didn't cost the GOP the Senate," Mansour said in a Twitter message. "We were nowhere near winning control of the Senate. Deal with it Beltway GOP."
Bachus is the first Washington Republican specifically to blame Palin for the loss of the Senate, but other leading GOPers have been pointing fingers at another tea party leader, South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint. Both Lindsey Graham, DeMint's Senate colleague from South Carolina, and former Senate GOP leader Trent Lott took barely veiled jabs at DeMint, each telling Politico that the GOP had not nominated its best candidates in 2010.
Politico quoted another GOP senator, who declined to be named, trashing DeMint specifically and calling him a "big loser." "It's like you're on the five-yard line ready to score and the quarterback calls the play and some member of your team tackles one of your members and keeps you from scoring," the senator said. "We came tantalizingly close to a majority."
But DeMint pushed back on that criticism Sunday, telling NBC's "Meet the Press" that the GOP should crediting the tea party for its gains last week. "I think [tea party activists] made a huge difference in the election," DeMint said. Asked about Christine O'Donnell, whom he and Palin endorsed against party pick Mike Castle in Delaware, DeMint insisted she couldn't have won because she was "so maligned" by other Republicans. "She didn't have a chance," he said.




